she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
