i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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