Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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