Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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