my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
