i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
