Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All the doctor said was why
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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