just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
