If that was your dad, he is hot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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