she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
