I just cut my nipple shaving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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