oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
don't judge my taste in strippers
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
