youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
