I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
