the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
