loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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