I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
