sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
