Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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