but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
