It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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