I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
