He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
