I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
