A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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