Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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