So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
