Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sarcasm needs its own font
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm at about main and main street
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Still dying that you shit outside
Randomize
