How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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