it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
