ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
