may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
