like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
