Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
