i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize