So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize