they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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