hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize