grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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