The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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