i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
