HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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