I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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