I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize