he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
