This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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