Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
