we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
