normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
