I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
