yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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