my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize