I'm going to jail i love you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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