Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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