She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
