:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
