Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
