kristin has been a bad kristin
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
