grandma shit on top of the toilet
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We left the knife in your bed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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