Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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