Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
