Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
