i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
