dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
