I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
