getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
