Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
